Last week’s News of the Weird gave serial impregnator Desmond Hatchett, of Knoxville, Tenn., too much credit. It is true that he has fathered at least 24 kids by at least 11 women (and has no hope of meeting child-support obligations), but he is hardly Tennessee’s most prolific. A June summary by the Daily Mail of London revealed that Terry Turnage of Memphis has 23 children by 17 women, and Richard M. Colbert (also from Memphis) has 25 with 18 women.

Sounds like a joke

In testimony at an extortion trial in New York City in June, Anthony Russo (alleged Colombo family associate) told prosecutors that a mob war was narrowly averted after another Colombo hand learned that a new Staten Island pizza parlor (run by an alleged Bonanno associate) featured pies that suspiciously resembled those of the top-rated L&B Spumoni Gardens in Brooklyn, which has Colombo ties. Representatives of the families had a “sit-down” (at a neutral site — a Panera Bread restaurant!) and worked out a payment plan to satisfy L&B.

The continuing crisis

Seattle attorney Andrew Basiago told Huffington Post in April that he “time-traveled” eight times as a child as part of the secret Project Pegasus staged by the Pentagon’s notorious Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Another lawyer, Alfred Webre, recently explained, matter-of-factly, to a seminar audience in Vancouver, British Columbia, that teleportation is an “inexpensive, environmentally friendly means of transportation” and was used most recently by then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld “to transport troops to battle.” Basiago said, in a flourish of detail, that he was at Ford’s Theater the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated but did not witness it, and said that twice, he ran into himself while back in the past.